


Of Manuals and Mariachi

by quiet_janey929



Series: Extraordinary Tales of a Less Extraordinary Person [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, F/M, First Dates, Gen, Grillby doesn't know how to date, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7184267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet_janey929/pseuds/quiet_janey929
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finally, Piper and Grillby are able to go on their promised date!<br/>While Piper gets dragged around town trying to find the perfect dress, Grillby tries to figure out how the actual date is supposed to go.<br/>And what is Frisk planning behind the scenes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

#  **Chapter 1**

 

“Hey, Grillby.”

Grillby looked over at his girlfriend Piper, who was leaning over the bar and watching him fix a few drinks.  _ “Yes…?” _

“We never got to go on that date, did we?”

He stopped and looked at her.  _ “What date…?” _

“Ya know, the date we promised to have once barrier was down.” She raised an eyebrow. “Did ya forget?”

_ “Things have been busy, what with Asgore moving into your place and everything after that.”  _ He went back to fixing the drink _. “ What about our date?” _

“Well, why don’t we have it this week?”

He almost dropped the drink in his surprise.  _ “W-What?!” _

“You heard me. We could have it this Thursday. Neither of us are busy then, and I won’t have to worry about Asgore then. Undyne and Alphys have invited him for their anime night.”

_ “Don’t you usually go…?” _

“Only for the real gorey ones. They’re watching some fluffy stuff tonight to make up for last week when we watched the _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ movie. They were crying like babies.” She held his hand. “How about it? We could go to Don Juan’s restaurant.”

_ “You mean one of the old men tha Sans is friends with from the Días de Los Muertos festival?” _

“Yeah. He owns a restaurant called La Rosa Vieja. I can drive us there.”

He nodded.  _ “That sounds nice…” _

“Pick ya up at eight?”

_ “Sure…” _

Piper grinned and kissed his cheek. “Then I’ll see ya on Thursday, bonito~” She hopped off the bar and headed back to her table.

Two of his best employees, Craig the cat and a human named Emile, came up and grinned. “Alright, boss! Finally goin’ on that date!”

_ “I’m going to screw this up…” _

“Why would you think that?” Craig asked.

_ “I’ve never been on a date…” _

The pair winced. “Jeez… Dunno what to tell ya, boss,” Emile muttered.

_ “I’m going to screw up, and she will dump me, and I will die…” _

Craig rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to die.”

_ “I will. She will kill me with her bare hands….”  _ He leaned against the bar.  _ “I will leave the restaurant to you two… please keep the name the same…” _

“Dude, yer not gonna die.” Emile pat his shoulder. “Talk to a monster who’s dated a human before! It’ll be easy!” 

Grillby hesitantly nodded.  _ “I think I know someone…” _


	2. Chapter 2

#  **Chapter 2**

 

“Yer what?!” Undyne shouted as she sat up in her chair. 

“I told ya, I'm finally goin’ on that date with Grillby,” the human said as she ate some cheese fries. “I don't understand what yer so freaked out about.”

Alphys giggled and pat her arm. “She's j-just excited…”

“No, I'm pissed that yer dumping us for a date!”

“Really, darling?” Mettaton raised an eyebrow at the fish monster. “You've ditched her plenty of times for dates with Alphy. Why should this be any different?”

“Because she's the responsible one!”

“Listen, fish stick. I ain't gotta do crap for ya.” Piper stuffed another fry into her mouth. “Ya got Asgore for ya anime night. Ya don't need me.”

“But we were gonna watch some Kill La Kill …” The fish pouted and rest her head on the table.

“Too bad. And watch something else. The big guy likes fluffy crap like Ghibli movies.”

Mettaton rolled his eye at them. “As much as I want to hear about this, I'd rather talk about the date itself. Piper dear, where are you going to go?”

“We're going to La Rosa Vieja. Me and Sans know the owner.”

“That place is rather nice. What will you wear?”

She shrugged. “I'll put something together-”

The horrified gasp the robot made silenced her. “You? Put something together? Darling, all of your clothes are so grunge era! You unironically wear leather pants!”

“And what's wrong with that?”

“It's simply not first date material!” He wrapped an arm around hers. “I am going to take you on a shopping trip. Just you and me.”

“And why can't we go?!” Undyne huffed.

“Undyne, you dress just as badly as she does, and Alphys tends to pick unflattering sweaters about human pop culture.” He gave her a glare. “She needs someone with actual fashion sense. That's neither of you.”

“He's got a point…” Alphys murmured.

“I know and I hate it!!” Undyne crossed her arms over her chest childishly.

Piper rolled her eyes. “As long as yer payin’ I don't care.”

“Excellent!” Mettaton giggled excitedly. “We'll find you the best dress-”

“Uh-uh. I ride a motorcycle, remember? And I haven't shaved my legs since October.”

“I've never understood why humans do the latter, but we can get you some leggings or shorts for underneath. You have a wonderful figure, darling. Show it off!” He grinned. “You'll also need some shoes and such, and I can do your hair and makeup!”

“What's wrong with my hair?”

“No offense, dear, but it looks like it's going to eat someone.”

Piper frowned. “No, it doesn't…”

“It does. But don't worry! I can tame it enough that it'll look gorgeous!”

“Oh boy…” 

“You sound like it'll be a bad thing!. We'll go on Tuesday. I'll pick you up.”

She gave him a wry look. “In _ Pink Lightning _ ?”

“You talk like I own more than one car.”

“H-Hold up.” They all looked at Alphys. “Who's gonna watch Frisk on Thursday night?”

Piper shrugged. “I'll get Sam's and Pap to babysit. It'll be fine.”

Mettaton and the girls nodded in agreement before going back to the discussion of Piper's big date.


	3. Chapter 3

#  **Chapter 3**

 

Grillby sighed quietly as he knocked on the first door on the third floor of Piper’s building. He really wasn’t sure how this was going to go. Very few monsters that he knew had gone on a date with a human, so the pool of people to aske was quite limited. There was, quite literally, only one expert in town.

The door opened, and Sans leaned against the door frame with a curious look on his face. “You here for Pap?”

He nodded.  _ “Yes…” _

The short skeleton shrugged and stepped aside, letting him inside the apartment. “Pap! Ya got a visitor!”

“Ooh! Goody! Is it Mettaton?” yelled Papyrus from the back.

“Nah, Pap!” 

Papyrus came out of his room and smiled at Grillby. “Ah, Grillby! To what does the great Papyrus owe you for this visit? Could you have possibly heard about my bettering cooking skills?”

_ “No. no… I’m actually here about something else…” _

“Really?” His curiosity was more than obvious on his face. “Do tell!”

_ “I… I need your help… I’m going on a date this Thursday…” _

“Oh! I heard about that from Mettaton and Undyne!”

The fire monster nodded, his blue SOUL pulsing with his nervousness.  _ “It’s just… I’ve never been on a date before…” _

Both skeletons started at him in shock. “Never…?”

_ “Never… I wanted to come to you for help, since you’ve dated a human before…” _

“It was more of a platonic date, but yes.” Papyrus grinned. “Do not worry! I, the great Papyrus, have just what you need!”

Grillby looked up in surprise.  _ “Really…?”  _

“Of course! Wait here while I go get it!” The tall skeleton ran to his room to grab whatever it was he thought would help Grillby.

Sans popped onto the couch and looked up at Grillby with a cheeky grin. “So, where’re ya goin’ on your date?”

_ “Your friend Juan’s place… “ _

“La Rosa Vieja? Nice choice, mi compadre.” He rolled onto his back. He looked like an idiot, but Grillby didn’t expect any different from him. “You gonna pick her up, or is Piper gonna drive you on her motorcycle?”

_ “You know I can’t drive…”  _

“You really need to learn. Pap knows, and he’s pretty good.” 

_ “I don’t like cars very much…” _

“Ah…”

“I found it!” The pair looked over to see Papyrus run back in. He had a small book in his hands. “The Dating Manual!”

_ “The what…?” _

“The Dating Manual! It will teach you all you need to know about dating!” He placed the book in Grillby’s rocky hands. “You can borrow it for as long as you need! It’s very helpful!”

Grillby smiled.  _ “Thank you…” _

“No problem!” 


	4. Chapter 4

#  Chapter 4

 

“You’re what?!” 

Piper frowned at Frisk as she sat with Asgore on the couch. “Ya heard me, bebé. I ain’t repeatin’ myself.”

“But…! You’re already dating! Why do you gotta go on a date?!” The child was pacing across the floor, running their hands through their hair. “That’s like paying for a meal you already bought!”

“That is not what it’s like, and it’s gonna happen whether ya like it or not.” 

Asgore nodded. “Frisk, I’m not sure I understand why you’re so upset? You’re okay with your sister dating Grillby, yes?”

They nodded. 

“Then why are you so against her going on a date?” 

“Because her other dates always tried to do nasty stuff with her!”

She rolled her eyes. “Grillby is asexual. And a proper gentleman to boot. Even if he wanted to do nasty stuff, he wouldn’t without askin’.”

Frisk huffed and crossed their arms. “I still don’t like it.”

“Tough. Pap and Sans are gonna watch you on Thursday.”

“Why can’t Asgore?!”

“I’m going to anime night with Undyne and Alphys.” he answered. “They curse a lot, so Piper and Tori don’t want you there so you can be corrupted.” 

Piper pulled Frisk into her lap. “Frisk, this a really important thing for me. Have I ever whined about yer important stuff?”

“No…” 

“Then why ya gotta throw a tantrum? Yer nine. Yer too good and pure to be this petty. Wait until yer 16 or somethin’.”

“Okay…”

“Good. I'm headin’ out Tuesday with Mettaton to go shopping. Asgore can take ya to school.”

The goat monster smiled. “We do it all the time. It won't be too hard. However,” he said, looking over at Piper, “I thought you didn't like Mettaton.”

“I never said I didn't. He's one of my best friends.”

“Since when? I thought I was your best friend.”

“Ya are, but I have two. And since last week when hung out while going dress shopping with Undyne and Alphys. We got salty with this valley-girl wannabe. Then we we went see Napstablook and listened to his music.”

“‘Salty’?”

“I'll explain it to ya later, big guy. Just know that I love you more than I do Mettaton. Yer my bestest friend.”

Asgore smiled, not admitting to be pleased with this, but it was obvious that he was.

Frisk raised an eyebrow. “How come you get to be petty or whatever and I can't?”

“Because I have have stooped too low to get back up. You, on the other hand, are too good and pure for the petty life. So yer not allowed to be petty.”

They sighed and snuggled into her. “Fine…”

“Good. Now, let’s forget about it and watch some of Asgore’s Ghibli movies.”

“Can we watch  _ Spirited Away _ ?” 

Asgore chuckled softly, nodding. “Of course…”

Frisk grinned and snuggled between them. Behind the smile, however, a plan was forming… 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping with Mettaton is stressful

#  **Chapter 5**

 

When Tuesday rolled up, Piper waved goodbye to Frisk, Asgore, Asriel, and all the other monster kids as they walked to school. She put on some clothes as she waited for nine o'clock to arrive, and, with it, the famous  _ Pink Thunder. _

She rolled her eyes as she heard the loud honk of of Mettaton’s car. She ran downstairs and glared at the robot grinning at him as he kept honking his horn. “I’m comin’! Jeez! Cálmate, que lata!” 

“Flattery will get you nowhere, darling~!” He laughed as she hopped into the passenger seat. “How’d our Frisky Kitten take the news about Thursday?”

“Not well, at first. They didn’t like the idea. Me and the big guy had to calm them down on Sunday with some movies.” 

“Ah, well. Papy said something about Grillby coming by on Sunday for something. I’m not exactly sure what.” He put on his sunglasses before pulling out and onto the main street. “I love him to pieces, but I can’t keep track when he gets really excited over something.”

“Understandable. I’m honestly impressed that Sans can keep track.” She rest her arm on the door, letting the wind blow through her hair. “What shops we goin’ to? We goin’ to that boutique we went to with our resident Gal-Pals?”

“Maybe. No way some snotty little girls with rich racist daddies are going to keep me from shopping at my favorite stores.” 

“How do ya even get enough money for those places?”

“Beauty and fashion vlog. I have tons of followers. With each view I get, I get paid ten cents.”

“How far does that get ya?”

“Quite far. It adds to my banking account, which was already second highest wealth-wise in the Underground, so I can pay for tons of things. I could probably buy this entire town.”

“Holy crap.”

“I know.” He grinned at her. 

“Yer literally a stuck-up rich person.”

He cackled, speeding off down the street. 

They arrived at their first shop. It was his favorite boutique in town. It was this little chique place called Marie’s. 

“We’re here~!” he yelled in a sing-song voice as he parked his car near the front of the shop. 

Piper rolled her eyes as she got out. “Ya drive like a maniac.”

“You weren’t complaining in the car.” 

“Because it’d be bad for my health to do so.” 

He grinned, though it was more like baring his fangs at her. It was just a way he showed that he was annoyed with people. “Darling, are you insinuating something?”

“Why ever would you think that?” 

Mettaton huffed at her and led her inside. Marie’s was a clean and neat, with teal and white walls. Mannequins with wigs styles suspiciously like a certain robot’s hair stood on pedestals and in the window. Racks of clothes lined the walls and made rows in the back half of the store. 

“Do you own this place?”

“No, but I have modeled for the store.” He smiled as he looked around. “Lisandra? Marie? I have a new girl for you to beautify, darlings!” 

Two women came out of the back, grinning in delight. “Baby doll!” giggle the tall red-head. She was a bit gaunt and mostly angles, but she was very pretty. “Did you bring another one of your friends?”

“Of course, Marie!” He grinned that showman’s grin of his face. “This is Piper. She was here with Alphys and Undyne.”

Piper waved in greeting. “Hi…” 

“She's here for a makeover,” Mettaton purred. “She's got a date with her hunky boyfriend Grillby on Thursday.”

The two fashionistas giggled, and took Piper's hands. “Then come this way, dear! We've got just what you need!”

“So, what's your style?” asked Marie’s companion, a blonde girl named Stacy. “Are you the fancy type?”

“Not really… we're just goin’ to La Rosa Vieja…” Piper looked back at her robotic companion warily. “I'm driving us on my motorcycle, so-”

“Say no more, dear!” Marie pushed her into a changing room. She and Stacy grabbed all sorts of clothing from the racks and handed them to her before shutting the door. “If you need help, just call!”

“Th-Thanks…!” Piper sighed as she got undressed and put on the first outfit in the pile. It was a cute black dress that went midway down her thighs. Certainly nice, but she couldn’t ride in this to save her life. However, she straightened it out and stepped out of the changing room to show Mettaton and his friends.

The trio looked her over critically for a few minutes before shaking their heads. “Too not you, darling,” Mettaton said. “It looks good on you, but doesn’t become you.”

“Uh… What does that mean…?”

“Means go back in and try on the next one.” 

She huffed and did as told. She came back out in a punk leather jacket with spiked shoulder pads and torn up jeans.

“No. Too you.”

“Excuse me…?”

“You generally look like a punk from the 1990s grunge phase, darling. This is too punk for you.” He waved his hand dismissively. “You look like you’re in a biker gang.”

“Rude.”

“I know, but someone has to say. Now, change.”

Piper growled before going back inside. After a few minutes, she stepped out a third time, only to receive silence. “What now?”

“It… It’s PERFECT!!” Mettaton ran over and hugged her tightly. “You look absolutely wonderful! Grillby is going to just die when he sees you!”

She chuckled and blushed. “R-Really?”

“Of course! We’ll take this, then go work on your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“It’s too wild, darling. It’ll smother him if he’s riding behind you.”

She glared at him. “You bitch.”

“And don’t you know it.”


End file.
